Living with cancer, dying with grace, finding joy while grieving
Carrying the Tiger
An inspiring memoir about navigating severe illness and its aftermath without abandoning hope.
Available for pre-order in March, 2025
“Gripping, heart-wrenching, open and honest… There is an energy driving us forward, a pace which makes the book a real page-turner.” — Debbie Rivers-Moore
Facing a devastating diagnosis, Tony and his wife Lynn scramble to find effective treatment, weather life-threatening setbacks, learn to live fully in the shadow of death, and share the intimate grace of Lynn’s departure from this world. Then Tony climbs out of shattering grief and eases his way towards new life.
… and receive a significant discount when the book is published.
“The urgency of your circumstances, your clarity, the fascinating medical decisions to which so few of us are exposed, and the history of your deep love with Lynn propelled me onward.” — Marilyn Rivkin
Carrying the Tiger began as a series of posts on CaringBridge.org to keep friends and family informed about Lynn’s Stage IV lung cancer, but over time it became something more — an intimate exploration of their experience, as Tony and Lynn learned to live with her incurable cancer and then with the collateral damage caused by its treatment.
Even after Lynn died, friends encouraged Tony to keep writing, because reading his journal helped them process their own grief. He continued to post for the next three years, chronicling his emergence from deep grief as he learned to integrate joy into his life without betraying his love for Lynn.
The resulting book, Carrying the Tiger, is the story of Tony’s journey, from the day he realized Lynn had cancer, until the day he was able to move forward without her.
“Your book helped me transition through the painful loss of my best friend and then my brother and his wife. I know it will touch many others in a profound way.” — Gail Dahl, M.A. Holistic Health Promotion
“[The book] is not about disease but about care, love and very interesting observations, so that someone reading it might not fear the journey but find it miraculous, unexpected and enriching...”
— Cara Hyson, Director of the Writing Center, St. George’s School
“I'd recommend it to a friend who wants to know what the process of 'living with dying' is like, and also I'd recommend to anyone the parts after Lynn's death, in which you're balancing grieving and thriving — the book becomes remarkable at that point.”
— George Mancuso, MD, Cancer Committee Chair
Synopsis (spoiler alert)
The first half of the book, “Living with Cancer,” is written with the intensity of a thriller. Tony and Lynn scramble to find treatments that can hold down her cancer; learn to live fully in the face of incurable disease; navigate serious setbacks and life-threatening complications; and eventually live well for several years despite the ever-present tumors.
Part two, “Dying,” begins on the day that Lynn’s tumors resume growing. In a slower, more thoughtful style, Tony zooms in on the final year of her life, filled with increasing fear and pain, until she and Tony reach the difficult decision to stop treatment and begin home hospice. Then time stops almost entirely as Tony shares the intimate grace of Lynn’s departure from this world.
In part three, “I Carry your Heart,” Tony explores his shattering grief and gradual healing. Six weeks after Lynn’s death he begins talking with an acquaintance, Cordelia, about their shared grief. They soon realize that they are mutually attracted, filling Tony with confusion and guilt about being drawn to another woman while still mourning Lynn. Together, Cordelia and Tony find ways to celebrate Lynn’s life as they build their relationship. She helps him learn to carry Lynn’s heart in his heart, even as he struggles to accept new love.
Tony journaled in real time on CaringBridge.org, and the book was adapted from that journal. It features many of the insightful comments that his friends posted there, a Greek chorus and cheerleading squad that provided strength and support at every stage of the journey.
